Oh! Baby!

I had just begun to resign myself to the idea that I wasn't going to have anymore children, with my two already in adolescence and 30 right around the corner. Why would I want to tie myself to domestication for another 10 years? I know I hadn't concerned myself with contraception so it's a little hard to claim unplanned pregnancy. So lets say not planned but not prevented. Either way, I can't pretend that this isn't what my heart has wanted for the longest time, even if I was about to give up on the idea.
Parking the car in the secluded spot we went to for a secret squirrel puff puff pass, a feeling of 'just not right' washed over me. My subconcious must have giggled at the recognition of that familiar feeling, it continued to play on my mind for the rest of the afternoon. Wouldnt that be funny, boyfriend only moved up here to join me a few weeks ago, and I get knocked up right off the bat! Nah! Like that would happen. I was using a little natural family planning, the pink pad (TM) application on my android phone told me my fertile days and I had avoided intimacy. Then I checked the application settings and noticed it was using averages, and having only recorded one cycle, it wasnt really accurate. I had been fertile the week prior, and busy doing what bunnies do. But still, after the whole methotrexate fiasco I doubted my parts would work, they hadnt managed to in the last 3 years. So I felt a little queasy, and had been nodding off in the afternoon, I was mildly crampy and due in a day or two, PMS just does its thing like that. Till the day my breasts were tender, which is common during PMS, I know, but not for me. I flicked a quick text to my BFF, we had been dealing with each others menstrual symptoms for years.. we may as well have shared a uterus. She told me to pee on a stick. So I did. It was negative, I told myself I knew it would be.
They say to never read a test after 10 mins, so why I looked at it the next morning I have no idea, but I did. And there was the slightest 2nd line.Must be a vapour line, ignore it.
Trusty BFF advised me to test again, so the next day I did, early morning urine. Waiting, waiting, waiting, nah thats only one line. I nudged the sleeping male, "its negative", and continued to get the kids ready for school. Returning to the room to get the car keys, I glanced at the test again, is that a shadow? or a vapour line? what are the odds of two vapour lines in a row? could it be a faint positive? maybe I should see a doctor. I got an appointment for 9am. The doctor tested again, another faint positive. "A faint positive is still a positive" she tells me, and orders the first bloodtests.

So, it begins...

Of course I did.

Only I could forget the email sign in for my blog. brilliant.
And then, forget the password.
All sorted now, and boy do I have a thing or two to say.