Trial and Error and Error and Error and Error

Everyone has different brain chemistry, which means there are many varying treatments for psychological disorders. Finding a medication that helps you achieve the most out of your abilities is often a matter of trial and error. I've been on and off the the trial and error wagon for over a decade.
I spent the last month taking my SSRI religiously, and avoided the Seroquel except for a few nights when I couldn't afford the insomnia. Still the anxiety intensified. Now I'm not one to have panic attacks often or suffer the physiological effects of anxiety. The dark clouds of depression however were looming over me, the months were getting colder and the space i had between this rock and that hard place was getting smaller and smaller. I had a fair few episodes, of racing heart beat and shaking. Knowing what is coming, knowing I'm not on medication to keep it at bay, and knowing that I'm alone and have dependants and not knowing how long the waiting list to see a Psychiatrist I'm on is, the anxiety continued. The instant the appointment card arrived in the mail, it was llike the fever had broken.
Seeing Dr Mathews again, was exactly as I expected, he ordered blood tests and suggested a new medication. Set a review for a month and sent me on my way.
Now the sense of impending doom returns. How will I react to this drug? What happens if it seriously impairs me? Who will be there for my children? How many more drugs is it going to take to find the right one? Will i be better or worse? Can I even get better? What kind of help do I actually need? Where the hell do I find it?